By Raphael Roy Dumont
What is the meaning of life?
To overcome obstacles
And to live
Because time passes too fast and whether it pleases us or not
We’re all in the same boat
I don’t want to complain anymore
I chose to be an ally
A man for whom destiny
But who fights so that the Earth will be a better place to live?
I’m not a messenger
I’m a schizophrenic
If you want to know why I wrote all those things
Ask my voices…
I’m no longer the same
I have no faith in god
But that doesn’t make me a bad person forever
Happiness for me
Is not having a problem
Am I afraid?
I’ve seen all the colors in this life
I’ve suffered for my quota
I hope that the world gets better
That those who suffer don’t lose hope for a better day
For all time…
What’s on the other side?
Maybe some new challenges
Or maybe nothing
I don’t care
I have principles despite it all
I have hope
That those who know me won’t forget me
I’d like to talk about it
I’ve been hearing voices for 13 years
Since 2007 to be precise
During all that time
I always told myself that the voices were real
That they really exist
That they were spirits talking to me…
But today I’ve resolved to myself
To no longer believe in them…
The possession is over
It’s finished Azazel
It’s a deliverance for me
A new life begins
Those voices I hear
Are just the product of my subconscious
Why do they seem so real?
For the same reason that a dream can sometimes seem more real than reality
And they’re a product of the subconscious too
I am Raphael
Because all that spirituality brings me
If I died today
What would be my greatest success
And my greatest regret?
First of all, my greatest success hasn’t yet happened but I expect it soon
Secondly, my greatest regret is to not have been assured enough
And having been called to war
And having hated non-believers
Real life for me is the negation of all my perceptions
I am in denial
I don’t want to live a nightmare anymore
Always waiting for my last rhyme
My last day
My last road
I don’t want to believe it anymore.
What do I believe in if I don’t believe in God?
Are there spirits in the sky?
Good entities, or evil ones?
I think there is eternal peace
I remain optimistic
Are my voices hallucinations from my brain
A product of my imagination?
I see the signs
But I refuse to believe in them
And that, for my mental health
Because I’ll never cure myself of my mystic hallucinations
If I don’t stop referring to my voices
Everything can happen
I’ve chosen the path of reason
The road of inner peace
I am just a mortal
– Translated from: L’art des fous, poems on mental health by Gaspé residents
Published by Éditions TNT, 2021